The Ache of Being Human

In her sermon on Sunday, Pastor Alison spoke about "the ache of being human." Aching for something more seems to be hardwired into us as human beings. As a result, one way that we can understand spirituality is as the journey of learning how to direct, or to rightly orient, that ache. Two thinkers who have thought deeply about this topic are Father Ron Rolheiser and Kate Bowler, PhD.

Father Ron Rolheiser is a Roman Catholic priest and member of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate. He is a lecturer and writer with a weekly column that is carried in more than 50 newspapers worldwide. He is the author of numerous books as well. He has been a priest for 28 years. 

Kate Bowler is an author and professor at Duke Divinity School. One of Bowler’s research topics was the American prosperity gospel — the belief that God guarantees health, wealth, and happiness. After writing a book on this topic, in a sort of tragic, ironic twist, Bowler was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35. While she was in treatment and not expected to survive, Bowler wrote two memoirs about how her perspectives on life and faith had been fundamentally changed as a result of her diagnosis. Bowler discovered that “life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone.”

On an episode of Bowler's podcast "Everything Happens," Rolheiser and Bowler discuss their perspectives on the ache of being human. Here's a description of the episode:
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"There’s an ache at the center of being human. The kind that doesn’t go away with a fresh to-do list or a good night’s sleep. It’s the longing for more. The grief of what wasn’t. The quiet ache of ordinary life—school pickups, grocery runs, scan results, and the slow accumulation of things we didn’t choose. In this tender and deeply wise conversation, Kate Bowler speaks with Father Ron Rolheiser—beloved Roman Catholic priest, theologian, and bestselling author—about the ache that lives in all of us... and why it might be the most holy part of who we are. This episode is for anyone who feels a little restless, a little disappointed, or just plain tired—and is looking for a spirituality big enough to hold the beautiful, unfinished life they’re living. In this conversation, Kate and Ron discuss:

• Why we all have an ache inside of us (and why that’s okay)
• The convalescence you may need from church communities that have hurt you
• How living in six-month intervals can teach us what really matters"

If, after listening to their conversation, you want to read more of their thoughts on this subject, you are invited to explore the links below:

Father Ron Rolheiser

• "Longing Is Our Spiritual Lot"
• ​"St. Augustine's one sentence that explains our restlessness"

Kate Bowler, PhD

• "Living with the ache"
• "The ache is not going away"
• "Naming the ache"

Alison ended her sermon by sharing the same prompt that Bowler offered to her readers: “What is one ache you’ve been minimizing or ignoring? How might it feel to name it without trying to fix it?”

Alison encouraged us to start by naming the ache for ourselves. And, then, if we are feeling a little bit brave, to share it with someone else. That could be a member of the River staff or community, a friend, a therapist, or a trusted family member. As you share, try to remember that to ache is to be human.