Staying Connected Through the Holidays & Advent

For many families, this year has turned out much differently than expected. We are faced with uncertainty in so many different aspects of our lives. As the holiday season draws closer, traditions may change and events may continue to unfold in unpredictable ways.

Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach, explains that we can help our children cope with uncertainty by accepting that uncomfortable feelings are not "bad" and do not need to be avoided. Recently, I had to break some difficult news to my son. Typically, in anticipation of his reaction, I would point out some silver lining with the hope that it would lessen his pain (and possibly mine too). However, I've realized that this often only leads to protests and arguments that neither me nor my son actually enjoy participating in. In her recent sermon, Alison Noll, our Assistant Pastor, reminded me of Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  So, that day I decided to just sit with my son and make myself available for chats. It seems to me that staying engaged with emotions is not only helpful, but could make the difference between thriving and just getting by. 
To help us move through the variety of uncertainties, while welcoming this festive season, here are some practical suggestions for families:

• Get inspired and celebrate the holidays in new ways. Thanksgiving and Christmas are probably the most family-oriented holidays of the year. Though they may be more distant than social this year, we can still be thankful for the traditional parades and lighting ceremonies that are becoming virtual this year. For an even more celebratory November, check out this list of outdoor and virtual events, ice skating rinks, and Christmas train rides in and around NYC. 
  
  
• Learn tips for hard conversations. Learning how to communicate with shared humanity and boundaries in mind could help ease some tensions as we meet with families and relatives in this politically charged year of 2020. Check out these tips from The Gottman Institute.
  
  
• Attend our Sunday Zoom Service, RiverKids & RiverYouth Gatherings, and Lifegroups. Sharing time together and staying connected has always mattered, but can be even more critical in these times. These are great ways to experience community and solidarity. For our past sermons and messages, check out our YouTube channel. 
  
  
• Be on the lookout for our Advent reflection guide and gift. We have some exciting things planned for Advent including a new sermon series, weekly mediations for all, and fun activities for families. Traditions and rituals can help us to process our feelings through the creation of memories and shared meaning. So, in the following weeks we will be mailing our families a special "gift" that you can incorporate in your Advent rituals this year. If your address has changed or you would like us to resend it, please do not hesitate to contact [email protected].
  
  

As always, I am always up for connecting with you and your family, so if you have any questions or concerns, or just want to chat 1-on-1, please do not hesitate to contact me. I would love to hear from you!

Amelia Cunard | RiverKids Director